As of this morning, my new book is available on Amazon. It is called Why I Decided to Believe in God, and for a limited time the Kindle edition is completely free. I would love for you to grab a copy while it costs nothing.
I have one request in return. When you have read it, please leave me an honest review on Amazon. Not a kind one. An honest one. Reviews are how a book finds the readers it was written for, and I would rather have your true reaction than your polite one.
What If the Strongest Case Against God Came From Someone Who Wanted It to Win?
That is the question underneath this book. I spent twelve years trying to prove that God did not exist. I am a cryptographer by training and a mathematician, and I have spent my life as a skeptic of unsupported conclusions, so I approached faith the way I would approach a code: attack it from every direction, test every assumption, and trust only what survives serious examination.
Then the evidence refused to cooperate.
Drawing on cosmology, physics, biology, mathematics, philosophy, biblical scholarship, and the historical case for the resurrection, the book follows that journey from determined unbelief to Christian conviction. I did not set out to arrive there. I set out to close the case for good, and the case would not close.
The Story of Three Graves
I want to be clear that this is not only a work of apologetics. It is also the story of three graves.
I lost my father in 1994. I lost my mother in 2024. And in 2025 I lost my wife, Nadine, after her eight-year battle with brain cancer. Somewhere in those years, every theological argument I had ever made ran into the question that every argument eventually has to face: can faith survive suffering that cannot be explained away?
I did not want to write around that question. I wanted to write through it.
What This Book Refuses to Do
I examine the strongest arguments against Christianity as honestly as I know how: the problem of evil, the reliability of Scripture, the origins of the universe, evolution and biological information, and the challenge of explaining suffering. Only then do I explain why I ultimately found those arguments insufficient.
I do not pretend to have easy answers. Where my own position has weaknesses, I say so. Where I cannot explain something, I refuse to manufacture an explanation to fill the gap. My faith was not built by ignoring evidence. It was built by following the evidence wherever it led, including into places I did not want to go.
So the book is part intellectual investigation, part spiritual memoir, and part meditation on grief, death, love, and hope. It is the record of a man who spent twelve years trying to break a case and discovered that the case would not break.
Who I Wrote It For
I wrote it for skeptics who think faith is for people who stopped asking questions. I wrote it for seekers who are not sure what they believe. I wrote it for Christians wrestling with doubt in private because they are afraid to say so out loud. And I wrote it for anyone who has ever wondered whether belief in God can withstand the hardest questions life can ask.
The invitation is simple. Do not believe because you are afraid to ask. Ask the deepest questions you have. Test every answer. Then see what is still standing.
The Kindle edition is free for a limited time, and the book is available on Amazon. Thank you for reading, and thank you in advance for your honest review.
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